Please Don't Change the Game, Mr Modi

Please Don’t Change 'The Game', Mr Modi

[Disclaimer: The following article is not a political statement. It is a spoof for tickling the funny bone and is motivated by many statements made on the current affairs channels during panel discussions in the recent times. No claim is made about the veracity of statements or validity of the inferences in this article. Sutradhar is an imaginary politician, a satirical stereotype; and bears no resemblance whatsoever to any of our respected lawmakers]

There is so much of ferment in the political circles and in the media about possibility of Narendra Modi being projected as Prime Ministerial candidate in 2014 elections. As an experienced politician, I have been watching the discussions from the sidelines, but I think it is my duty that I should step into the debate now for giving all the interested party a realistic view of the issue.

Firstly, let me start by telling you my accomplishments, lest you should take my words lightly. I am one of the most experienced politicians, I was with IC Party once, then I changed over to Desh Seva Party, and then Lok Seva party. I understand the policies and thoughts of each party except for ABC party, where the strategic requirement of succession necessitates changing party principles dynamically. 

Before I give my thoughts on Prime Ministerial candidacy of Narendra Modi, let me pose a question to you. If we have been preparing a Kabaddi team for Asian games, can we change the game for them and ask them to go to Winter Olympics for playing Ice Hockey. I know, I know, you will say “Sir, don’t be silly”.  And I agree with you. But it is not because Kabaddi federation can not increase their allowance from the current Rs 15 to Rs 35 per day, but because they will look so odd playing in cold weather in a ‘Langot’ when everyone else is wearing fur jackets.  So I say “Don’t change the game”.

In politics also, the same applies. I say again “Don’t Change the game!”

Indian politics is all about votes and banks (both type; vote banks, and the other ones we get 500 rupee notes from, for giving off during elections). For the last sixty years, the most important policies and programs in politics have been reservations, poverty alleviation, Welfare Schemes for the poor, justice, honor, dying for the country (duty mostly allotted to soldiers), increase in DA, reduction in price increase, atrocities on women, and now UID (un-implemantable-design) etc. Whosoever is able to convince the voters that they are not as bad as the other (generally, the ruling) party, wins elections. There are also periodic waves, religious waves, sympathy waves, patriotism waves, poverty waves that can appeal to the masses. Sometimes we create the waves, when there is none, e.g. Danger to our nation from a foreign hand, multinational invasion, danger from religion A to Religion B (sometimes from B to A) etc. The political science consists in finding out which wave is currently going strong and ride it to victory. Very much like ‘Jet streams’ that the airlines aircraft use for traveling a few hundred kilometers faster, if they can get into it.

Now there is this chap Narendra Modi, who says, “Development is the real issue”. Now what is this new thing called “Development”. It has never been a part of politics in India. And mind you, I have consulted many senior colleagues (yes, politicians can be colleagues too, though they are always shown as fighting in assemblies by the biased media, especially by the doctored video of the Kabaddi team). So where did this development thing come from?

I suspect that he is trying to “Change the Game”. He says that the things we have been doing earlier do not matter, the next election should be fought on the issue of “Development” Only.

 This I strongly object to. And I am not alone in this. Almost all politicians, including some from his own party, are against this subversive change. If you ask me, most of us are feeling quite like the Kabaddi players being sent for winter Olympics. 

Even more dangerous part of his coming to the forefront is that he is giving live example to brainwash the public and media. This will destabilize the democratic establishment that we have been so proud of for the last sixty years. So let me counter his three main planks one by one. 

First example that people see is that he has redone Sabarmati river, which had almost run dry, into a ‘live’ river again, with a waterfront that looks more out of a European scene that an Indian Ghat. This somehow does not gel with the ethos of our democracy, which is more focused in favor of total freedom irrespective of the state of rivers. We have given all Indian factory owners or citizens the right to throw all their refuse and even excreta into the rivers. Just look at what we have done to Yamuna or Satluj or many other rivers. Recently one stalwart politician in Maharashtra has indicated the way forward by suggesting that he can fill a dam with purely personal effort but using the similar methods that we have applied to Yamuna. 

Second issue that Narendra Modi keeps talking about is about encouraging industrialization and building infrastructure for industry. This again goes against the strategy of giving our nation a “socialistic pattern of society” and in pursuance of this aim, it has been our consistent policy to discourage private industry from becoming too big for their boots. Hundreds of politicians and thousands of bureaucrats have burnt midnight oil (because of electricity shortage) to write thousands of manuals for erecting barriers so that the balance of rich/poor can be maintained. As we have not been able to eliminate poverty, the least we can do is keep the others from getting rich. We have stuck to our principled stand even when, small countries like Singapore, Korea and Taiwan overtook us, and in recent times when China chucked socialism through the window and allowed the citizens and the country to grow rich. But we take pride in sticking to our principles even if it means hardship to all our citizens. Now all barriers are suggested to be broken for allowing a vibrant industry in Gujarat. If this is not ‘Changing the game’ for unprincipled ideas, then what is?

Thirdly has been recently a talk about empowering the women (All right, it was a talk given by Narendra Modi). He says that we can not progress without empowering women. Now this is something that I don’t want to discuss in public, because if I quote Hindu religion, that I will be branded non –secular, whatever that means. But as per my understanding of Hindu religion, you worship a few female deities, but others need to be kept under strict control. In fact the scriptures demand it. I cannot recall the whole thing but one anecdotal saying prescribes domestic animals, some classes and females to be kept under the stick (Ref: “Dhor, Gawar aur Nari, Yeh tadan ke Adhikari”). All the parties that I have been a member of, have followed this dictum of Hinduism, even if they have cast away rest of its teachings. Except for some deities (of particular political families), rest of the women are treated as dirt, both at homes and outside. Look at the incidents of rape, trafficking, does it not show the successful implementation of this policy? If anyone has a doubt, we shower them with cold water at India gate to bring them to their senses. So how can we talk of empowerment of women despite our vibrant history of suppression of women (in additions to discrimination of many other classes).

I am really pained at this talk of ‘Change’. You know, the moment we tell people that things can be greatly improved, they will feel aggrieved that their lot is worse than it should actually be. We spare our millions this pain by letting things continue as it is.

So my humble request to Mr Modi, Let us play politics according to our established practices. Please don’t bring in the distraction of this “development thing” into politics. Let us not “Change the game”. After all Kabaddi is our national game. (Disclaimer: It should have been Hockey: but you are not allowed to take hockey sticks inside the assembly)